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| Looking under rocks for creepy crawlies is my son's favorite thing to do |
Collette watched the woman in the hospital bed
intently; unconsciously inhaling and exhaling the same time as she did. When
the next inhale didn’t follow, Collette looked up to her husband.
The nurse who was standing off to the side, came to
the bed and put a hand on the woman’s wrist, feeling for a pulse, she took the
stethoscope from her neck, put the pieces in her ears and placed the disk
against Margaret’s chest. She listened for a minute, then took the pieces from
her ears and stood. Evan and Collette
looked at her and she shook her head. Evan pulled his wife to his chest.
Collette leaned into him, burying her head in his chest; she suddenly pulled
away and their eyes met,
“Oh Evan, what about Josh?”
They both
looked to the bed.
Evan released his wife and walked to the man kneeling
beside the hospital bed. His head was bowed and he was holding his dead wife‘s
hand.
Evan
put his hands on his friend’s shoulders and got to one knee.
Josh felt the warmth of Evan’s voice in his ear.
“Josh, she’s gone.”
Josh lifted his head from the mattress and looked at
him. He saw the concern on the face of his friend.
“Gone?” he said in disbelief,
allowing Evan to lift him to his feet.
Evan helped him up, keeping hold of
his arm to steady him. He nodded his head and whispered, “She’s in a better
place now.”
Josh thought about what Evan said.
He looked past his friend’s bald pate to Collette; standing near the bed, tears
streaming down her face. His gaze traveled back to the hospital bed; he saw the
peacefulness on his wife’s face and it made him smile, but then realization set in. He
stepped around Evan; not taking his eyes off of Margaret’s face.
“Josh” Collette hugged him, “I’m so
sorry.”
He nodded, resting his cheek on
Collette’s arm wrapped around his neck. He closed his eyes. The pain he felt in his chest was making it
difficult to breathe. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he broke the hug, stepped
around Collette and made a beeline for the head of the bed. He bent over, and
whispered in her ear, “You’re out of pain now, my love; everything will be fine.”
He gently kissed her forehead and lips. Turning, he
took a few steps; then broke down, falling to his knees sobbing; covering his
face with his hands.
Evan and Collette helped Josh to a
nearby chair. Evan knelt in front of him, “Why don’t you come home with us
tonight; the kids would love to see you.”
Josh shook his head, “I appreciate the offer Evan, but
I think I just want to go home and sleep.”
“Okay buddy.” Evan smiled and hugged him.
The sounds from outside the door
seemed to get louder and louder, until the door opened and a nurse stuck her
head in.
“I‘m sorry, but we have to move her
now.”
Josh nodded and got to his feet.
Two nurses wheeling a covered gurney
came into the room and positioned it parallel to the bed. One of them looked to Josh, “Where will they
be preparing her?”
Josh looked at her not
understanding, “Excuse me?” they both looked over when Evan cleared his throat.
“Colonial” he said to his friend;
then looked to the nurse, “Colonial Funeral Home.”
The nurse nodded and pulled the
curtain around the bed.
Josh stared at the blue curtain,
trying not to think about what was going on behind it. Then the curtain opened
and Margaret‘s body lay under a sheet on the gurney. The nurse walked up to
Josh, “I‘m so sorry for your loss.”
Josh nodded, “Thank you for
everything you did.”
The nurse smiled and then they wheeled the cart out
the door.
Josh watched them go, then turned to
Evan, “Uhm…” he cleared his throat when his voice broke, “Uhm Evan, can you
come with me to make…uhm you know…to set up the memorial?”
“Of course” Evan said without
hesitation.
Josh quickly wiped away a tear. He
turned and walked through the doorway and saw that Evan and Collette had
followed. Together they walked to the elevator. Josh pushed the elevator call
button. He turned his back to his friends. When the doors opened, he stepped to
the back of the elevator and leaned his head against the wall.
“Are you okay?” Collette asked.
Josh looked at her.
Collette realized how stupid a question it was; the
man just lost his wife; of course he wasn’t okay. She wanted to kick herself.
He nodded and tried to find his
voice, “Uhm Collette, do you think you could uh go to the house, m-my house and
get the bag that…that she prepar…” he
broke down and couldn’t finish his sentence. Collette stepped up to him and put
a hand on his arm.
“I know the bag; I’ll get it and
meet you at the funeral home, okay?”
Only a week before she died, Margaret showed Collette
the bag that contained the outfit and shoes she wanted to be buried in.
He nodded, “Thank you”
She smiled and took her hand away.
Josh stared at the floor.
Evan knew Josh long enough to know
that the best thing he could do for his friend right now, was just be there for
him.
The drive from the hospital to the
funeral home was a blur. Evan drove Josh’s car. They were now sitting in the
funeral home director’s office as the man droned on and on about caskets, linings,
pillows and whatever else he said before Josh tuned out. Thank God for Evan; he
made all the decisions and Josh knew that Margaret would be happy with all the
arrangements Evan made.
“That seems to be it, except for
what you would like us to dress your wife in for the viewing“.
Collette showed up just then,
holding the pink garment bag.
Josh stared at the bag, remembering
when Margaret had filled it. They had just come back from the cancer center in
Texas. That was the day they both knew that the end was near. He dropped his
eyes and fought for control from the tears.
He looked at his watch; an hour had gone by since Evan
dropped him off. He pulled himself off the couch, retrieved his keys from the
floor and walked to the room he and Margaret shared for the last two years.
Sitting on the side of the bed, he placed his head in
his hands, running his fingers through his hair, he dragged his hands down his
face; the last two days in the hospital wiped him out. All he wanted to do was
to fall asleep and wake where his wife was; he lay down and hugged her pillow
to him. His mind drifted to the first time he ever saw her.
He
was four years old going on five. His grandfather lifted him from his car seat
and placed him gently on the sidewalk.
“Now Joshua, stay right there while
Papa gets your bag, okay?”
“Okay Papa.”
Josh
watched his grandfather walk to the back of the car, take his suitcase out and then come back to him.
Charlie offered his hand and Josh grasped onto it, “And Daddy said that I could
stay with you for a whole two weeks.”
“Did he now?” Charlie looked down at
the little boy who was holding onto his fingers. The eyes that looked up at him
were so innocent, so trusting that he could almost forgive his son for not
telling Josh the truth; but since his wife died, the house had been eerily
quiet and he was hoping that now that Josh will be with him that he would be
able to sleep again.
Charlie helped Josh up the big step that led to the
porch of the house. Josh waited as Charlie opened the front door.
“Don’t forget to take off your
shoes.”
Josh kicked off his shoes and
followed Charlie to the bedroom he used when he visited.
Looking around the room he said, “I like
it here. “
Charlie lifted Josh’s bag onto the
bed. He helped Charlie unpack his clothes; Charlie took the item out of the
suitcase and handed them to his grandson, who put them into the drawers.
After
stowing the suitcase under the bed, they both lay down. Charlie
folded his arms under his head and had to smile when he saw the boy do the same.
“Well Joshua, what would you like to
do now?’
He looked at his grandfather, “I don’t know Papa. What do you want
to do?”
Charlie sat up and looked out the
window, “Well, it’s still light out, would you like to go outside and look
under rocks?” he knew that Josh loved to look for spiders and insects.
He sat up suddenly, “Can we?”
“Sure, let’s go get our shoes on.”
Josh ran to the door and slipped on his
shoes. He waited while Charlie got his on and opened the door. Josh ran ahead
to the side of the house; right to the biggest rock in the garden. Charlie
laughed as he saw him struggling.
“Are you sure you can lift that Joshua?”
Josh planted his feet and pushed with all his might,
“Yes, Papa, I’m a lot stronger than I was last time I was here” realizing he wasn’t getting anywhere, he
changed his tactic; laying on the rock, he tried to get his fingers under it
as he pulled. It didn’t budge. Josh got off the rock and looked at
Charlie.
“Papa, do you think you could help
me?”
“Oh, I think I can do that.”
Charlie knelt down and lifted the rock easily. Josh
lay on his stomach and poked at the mud. Charlie was bending down for a better
look when he heard the phone ring.
“I’ll be right back Joshua, don’t go
anywhere.”
“I won’t Papa.”
He
watched until Charlie turned the corner. Josh heard the door open then close.
He went back to the rock and touched a pill bug.
“What are you doing?”
Josh looked back to see a little girl in a bright pink
dress and matching leggings.
“I’m looking for bugs.” Josh said
and turned back.
“Can I see?” the little girl lay on
her stomach next to him, “What’s that?” she pointed to a long, gold insect
with many legs.
“That’s a centipede.” she moved her
hand closer and he grasped it, ‘Don’t touch it, they bite.”
She nodded and took her hand away.
“What’s that?” she pointed to a black, fast moving bug.
“What’s that?” she pointed to a black, fast moving bug.
“That’s a black widow spider, run!”
They both stood and ran to the front of the house
screaming. Charlie burst through the front door screen.
“What’s wrong?” he said, out of
breath.
Josh answered excitedly, “We saw a
black widow spider.”
He looked at them skeptical, “Show
me”
Josh and Margaret walked to the side of the house and
showed Charlie the arachnid in question.
Charlie peered down and was instantly relieved,
“that’s just a jumping spider.” he straightened and looked at the two kids, “I
see you met Margaret.” he made his way to the front of the house.
Josh stopped and looked at Margaret,
“That’s your name?”
She put her hands on her hips and stared at him,
“Yeah, why?”
Josh scrunched up his face, “It just
sounds like an old lady name.”
Her face fell, “I know, but it was my mommy’s name.”
she let her hands drop, “What’s your name?”
“Josh” they continued walking slowly
to the front of the house.
She smiled at him, “I like your
name.”
Josh suddenly had an idea, “Hey how
about if I call you something else?”
“Okay.” she slowed, “Hey! My daddy
sometimes calls me Margie; how about that?”
He shook his head, “I don’t like
that one either.”
She looked at him, “Well what do you
like?”
“Hmm. I don’t know; I’ll have to
think about it.”
“Okay”
They both climbed onto the porch swing with Charlie.
He woke suddenly and looked to the empty place next to
him, “Oh Mags; what am I going to do without you?”
